B008 Enter the Wigsnatch
Enter the Wigsnatch'' ''is a special live streamed story for the Queens of Adventure. The queens played in full drag live online on the website Twitch as part of the Extra Life Seattle Fundraiser. It was released as the eight bonus episode of the podcast. The story comprises the canonical first meeting of the core queens. Synopsis A banner stretches high: "Welcome to the Wigsnatch Commemorative Faire". For the first time in centuries, the Wigsnatch festival is being held. It commemorates when the Great Queens drove away ogres who would eat the wigs of the town of Weavington Hollow. No one has seen an ogre in centuries, or a Great Queen. Strewn about the festival grounds as field hands set up tents and booths are fragments of old statues: Stiletto heels, parts of ears with earrings, manicured marble fingertips. Novice drag queens in hastily assembled costumes hurry through the festival to a tent marked 'Contest Registration'. Four such queens, each having found a flyer for the drag contest in their travels, sit in front of a halfling with a clipboard, who is registering them as a team as they came without one. The halfling, Bunberry Shagfoot, farmer by day, volunteer by night, asks them who they are and where they are from. The first is Fraya Love, from Oceanica, who made her outfit from seaweed she dragged from the sea behind her. She worships Cher. Next is Arson Nicki, a warlock from the Underdark. A former urchin, who bound herself to a powerful patron to escape from fighting for her life. She is covered in sunblock and zinc based makeup. The other two came together. Harlotte O'Scara grew up in the courts of nearby Sknorf. Bunberry notices her necklace. Harlotte after minimal prompting reveals she stole it from a duchess. Her companion is Butylene O'Kipple, who claims to have met Harlotte while working as a backup dancer for Lady Gaga, who the halfling recalls is the most famous baby in the realm. Butylene brought her alchemy tools with her. The queens want to know if the gig is paid, and if there are drink tickets. The halfling explains there will be fabulous prizes as this is the first time the fair has been held in centuries. There is a cash prize, drag items including make up, made a troll named Anastasiya who lives up in the hills with her wife Beverly. Bunberry announces the seven events for them to chose from. Butylene chooses for them to start with Tinglomany. Tinglomancy Bunberry leads the team to a sunken area of grass covered by a shimmering blue dome of a Sound Barrier spell that masks the sounds of the fair. Behind a table sits an elf, Amos Amar. He explains the Amar elves have hightened hearing, and certain sounds elicit tingling in them. He will judge them based on how well they can trigger his ability. The team's efforts, particularly Harlotte's, earn them a point. They leave the elf heaving and hyperventilating with pleasure. Purse First Fraya chooses Purse First next. They are taken to an area where a wooden plank is laid across two barrels like a desk. A man behind it is dressed in a rag made suit. He introduces the challenge: negotiate a high booking fee. Fraya tries to demonstrate her impersonation skills with medium success. Arson describes her unique style of performance, and she insists on payment in gold, all up front, no expectation for tips. Harlotte expresses her wig and costume skills, but a need for a costume stipend which ensures the best dressed show in town. Butylene intimidates him, insisting exposure is deadly to drag queens. Arson silently drops into the splits. The judge offers 2 gold pieces, eight copper, and some silver shells, then claims he would up the offer but gives the same offer. Butylene takes advantage of this by saying, 'yes, 4 gold pieces, eight copper', and cons him into it. For this they earn a point, and a single healing potion. Platform Across a muddy stream there is a wooden plank across two boulders, a rickety trapeze hanging from trees, and a wooden stage with a crate on it. A woman in a ringmaster costume steps out shouting "Welcome to the Gauntlet!" She explains three queens must traverse one challenge each while the fourth offers moral or magical support (which Arson chooses), and all in heels. As the queens take their positions, the ringmaster warns of the terrible beast at the deathdrop box - a lounging tabbycat with a fake lion mane. Fraya starts sneezing. Arson supports with a fireworks illusion as Harlotte sings and tumbles over the balance beam. Butylene does interpretive dance on her swing, twirling until she hangs by her knee pits and shatters a vial of lavender scent and glitter as she descends. Fraya tries to distract the cat with a lit up bracelet, but instead the cat climbs up her. So she deathdrops from the box with the cat on her through a ring of dancing lights Arson casts around her. Fraya sneezes again. Townspeople, drawn by fireworks and sneezing, have gathered and applaud and praise them. The Ringmaster declares it the best performance yet and awards a point. Intermission Bunberry offers to take the queens to a refreshment tent to freshen up. As they head there, birds fly out of a nearby forest, startled by something. Oral Interpretation Down a gentle slope, in heels, they reach Harlotte's choice, a semi-circular amphitheater with an oval stage. In the front row are two humans, one smiling, one frowning. They must cold read song lyrics. Their performances draw the attention of more of the townsfolk. The song seems to summon cats (and more sneezing from Fraya), and earns them a point. They also are given a scroll of magic missile, granting one use of the spell. I'm Feeling Very Attacked Making their way to the next challenge, a minstrel is pulled on a platform as he plays a song on harpsichord. They arrive at a clearing with a fence with spikes forming a circle. In the center is a man wearing black and white stripes next to a cloth covered object. Spectators have followed the group and peer over the fence as the queens enter. The judge declares that the Great Queens of the past were adept at physical and magical combat to defend the downtrodden. He leaves the ring and the cloth drops off a battered suit of armor, empty but with an unsettling red glow within. While Butylene scans for weak points, Harlotte dashes, sliding between its legs and slashing it. Butylene tries to toss acid at a joint, but it bounces off, smoking on the grass. The armor slams against Harlotte. Arson runs to the far side of the ring and uses eldritch blast, ''while inventing the lip wrist with an innocent smile. Fraya leaps and does a full twist over him. She uses ''create water to fill the suit of armor with ice. Harlotte attacks again with her dagger to his shoulder. Butylene fires an arrow, which only spins the armor's helmet, causing it to miss attacks on Harlotte and Fraya. Arson fires eldritch blast ''again, punching a hole in the armor which lets the water begin pouring out. The armor walks to the side of the ring and falls over. The crowd now bears signs supporting the queens as they earn another point. Cher Your Knowledge As they approach the next challenge, the crowd begins to hype the team more and more, and nearly no one but Bunberry notices the rumbling in the tree lines. They find a small tent, dimly lit with candles. Inside is a woman with leather jacket, sheer body stocking and curly hair. She announces herself as a priestess of Cher and this, her temple. They will each be asked a question to test their knowledge of the Goddess. Fraya fails her question, and tries to give advice through charades to her teammates, but hurts her back in the process. Harlotte tries to channel divine influence, but is stumped. Butylene doesn't trust her own connection to the goddess and guesses wrong. Fraya recalls detailed artwork of the Goddess from thousands of years ago, but could not name her pet. Arson correctly knew that Cher once crashed a birdless carriage, but survived. Finally, Fraya signals Butylene with the correct location of a tattoo on the goddess. The Priestess suspects divine intervention, but admires Arson's knowledge, and awards a point, despite the 50% accuracy. Share Your Knowledge They move on to the final challenge, with a crowd following them. Bunberry hears something again, but dismisses it as she pushes aside the flap of a striped tent. Two dwarves sit at a picnic table. One of them gestures to the queens. They must each provide a makeup tutorial to the judges, and keep their audience's attention with flair. Arson, discusses skin prep, adding in science and dramatic hand gestures. Harlotte begins to display all of her different lip tools before her favorite lipstick breaks in her hand, causing her to cry, but she muscles through it. Butlyne teaches how to apply false gems to your face to distract from any horns or scales you might have. Fraya discusses beard cover despite not using makeup or having a beard. The judges have followed along, and one shouts, "We... Look... Fabulous!" and award a final point. Attack on the Festival Bunberry leads them outside to pass time til the winners are announced. Suddenly, there is a bellow at the forest... and the cat from the platform challenge walks by. Then there is another bellow and three massive ogres emerge from the forest. Bunberry says there haven't been ogres for hundreds of years. The ogres begin tearing through the crowd. One particularly ragged, slightly smaller ogre, stomps towards the queen. He grabs a handful of wigs from a stand, and stuffs them into his mouth. Fraya throws a copper piece at her as a tip. Harlotte yells at it, asking why it is attacking, bow at the ready. The creature says it is hungry and knows of the legendary festival with wigs. Harlotte fires a warning shot past the ogre's head. They still throw their javelin at Harlotte, just missing her. Fraya tries to attack with her trident, but faceplants into the mud. Butylene throws her second acid vial, which also misses, burning more grass. Arson casts ''poison spray, ''landing the first damage of the fight. The next attack from Harlotte also misses. The ogre lands his first hit on Fraya with his club. She dizzily gets up and stabs him in the thigh while Butylene hurls a bomb. It blasts across the ogre, but also singes Fraya and Harlotte. Arson sprays more poison from her unhinged jaw. Harlotte chugs the health potion, shatters the bottle, and stabs the ogre, who misses yet another attack on Butylene. Using the leg embedded trident as a jumping board, Fraya climbs the ogre and stabs him with her glaive. Another bomb and another poison spray strike the ogre, the party finally getting into the grove of the battle. The ogre topples, and the remaining wigs tumble from its mouth. The other ogres, seeing this, beat a retreat, not realizing there would be resistance. Aftermath and Contest Results The crowd picks themselves up. The judges gather around the queens. They remind everyone the point of the festival was to honor the Great Queens, whose biggest trait was their steadfast belief in standing their ground and defending others. "Today, you have made those Great Queens proud." They are declared the winners. Muscular fieldhands hoist the four queens into the air. Bunberry says they should put on an act. Across the field, a man in a top hat with orange hair rubs his chin and nods. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drow warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric * Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue NPcs * Bunberry Shagfoot (debut) * Amos Amar (debut) * Purse First judge (Debut) * Ringmaster (Debut) * Old Bootsy the Cat (Debut) * Amphitheater Judges (Smiling and Frowning) (Debut) * Referee (Debut) * Priestess of Cher (Debut) * Copper Top Monsters/Enemies * Suit of Armor * Ogres Live Show Roles * DM Matt * Chat Moderator James Episode Notes Lore * Great Queens from centuries ago, drove Ogres away from a town. Massive statues to them were erected and a commemorative festival. The statues have been worn down by time and the festival ended for centuries, until the original story was believed to be nothing but a legend. Inspiration Earned * Fraya - for Famous Amos pun * Audience Member Liam - for guessing the ASMR challenge before it was revealed * Arson - for her firework support magic at the Platforms challenge * Fraya - For descriptions of 80s van murals * Butylene - For 'birdless carriage' * Harlotte - For stabbing the ogre with a broken health potion bottle Memorable Quotes * "Just like any water creature I have the memory of a goldfish. The attention span of a goldfish too." - Fraya Love * "I plucked it just yesterday from a low hanging treebranch. Named the Duchess. The Duchess Treebranch." - Harlotte O'Scara * *whispering* "ASMR makes my skin crawl. It makes me want... to jump out of my skin... and scream at salads... and look children in the eye and say... 'Why didn't you do your homework?' " - Harlotte O'Scara * "There's people on treadmills, Harlotte." - Butylene O'Kipple * "I would like to give this person the elevator eyes, look them up and down and say... 'Fine.' " - Arson Nicki * "I grew the hair on the top of my head ''and styled it." - Harlotte O'Scara * "Looking this good is not cheap, and looking this cheap..." "is not good?" - Harlotte O'Scara and Judge * "In nature, drag queens die of ''exposure!" ''Butylene O'Kipple * "I don't do economical math. I came from a place where we bartered and gave each other sea shells." - Fraya Love * "Also, I want to trademark Drag-Merican Gladiators right now." - Harlotte O'Scara * "Well I am deathdrop gorgeous." - Fraya Love * "This does not follow any regular meter, let me tell you." - Arson Nicki * "This sounds like we're performing some dark summoning ritual" - Harlotte O'Scara * "This is an origin story. You never forget your first alias." - Harlotte O'Scara * "So since this is an origin story, I'm going to try to do this sharp movement with a snap at the end of it, but since I'm more, shall we say fairy type, I can't do a sharp snap, all I can do is a limp wrist. As I do it I go, 'hm, I might want to use this later.'" "Arson Nicki, inventing the limp wrist!" - Arson Nicki and DM Matt * "I'm an open container too and empty inside." - Fraya Love * "If you can't summon the fires of hell, you use homegrown. Canned is fine" - Fraya Love * "I'm trying to figure out how Ogres carry entire nightclubs on their shoulders." - Fraya Love * "Nick Jonas, Abraham Lincoln, BenDeLaCreme. Turns out: all the same person." - Matt Baume * "Listen honey. This isn't a mosh-pit, it's a marsh-pit." - Fraya Love * "Jonas Personas!" - DM Matt * "I've got an itchy bomb satchel." - "I might have you roll medicine for that later." - Butylene and DM Matt References * RuPaul's Drag Race prizes, including Anastasia Beverly Hills makeup * Smashing Pumpkins * Laganja Estranja's "I'm Feeling Very Attacked Right Now" rant from Untucked * ASMR * Famous Amos cookies * Thorgy Thor being assigned Stevie Nicks during RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars season 3. * Madonna, Lady Gaga, Cher, and Backstreet Boys * The Birdcage * Sex and the City * Pointer Sisters * Kermit the Frog and Kismet the Toad (a Kermit impersonator - yes, he is real) * Paris is Burning * Interior Illusions * The Night the Lights went out in Georgia * Playstation menu screen idle music * Simon Cowell * Pro-bending from Legend of Korra * Alias * Cat in the Hat and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. * Sean P. Hayes * Rocky Horror Picture Show - "Antici... pation" * Aja's rant about Valentina from Drag Race Untucked * May the Force Be With You * Graham Norton * Spelling Bees and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. * Mae West * President #45 * Monster energy drink * Nick Jonas * Abraham Lincoln * BenDelaCreme * Zetus Lepedus from "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century" * Shrek - Ogres having layers like onions * Mary Berry from Great British Bake Off * Mean Girls: She doesn't even go here * Hocus Pocus * N*Sync, Backstreet Boys, 98degrees, and S Club 7. * Trident gum * Billboard Charts * Joan Crawford and Mommie Dearest Please Welcome to the Stage * Flotilla DeBarge * Claire Voyant (the worst of the Voyant sisters) * Claire Atin Name That Tune * "Stick With You" - Pussycat Dolls * "Free Fallin" - Tom Petty * "Rhythm of the Night" - DeBarge * "Anthem" - Krazy Kitty (from AirBud franchise) * "A Thousand Miles" - Vanessa Carlton * "Turn Back Time" - Cher * "Bye, Bye, Bye." - N*Sync Behind the Queens * The live stream was part of the Extra Life fundraiser, raising money for Seattle Children's Hospital, and was the closing activity to a week of streams hosted by DMs Matt and James. * The queens' character sheets were reset to level 1 for this episode, set before their first adventure. This reduced many of their skills. * Technically the queens are only in drag from the waist up. The power of framing! * At over 3 hours long, it is the longest episode to date. * The Oral Interpretation challenge song, "Anthem", was previously a surprise lip synch that Arson had to perform as a dare during The Tip of the Tops (or that Arson would later have to lip synch to, depending on how you look at continuity). * The Queens reveal that they often forget what they said or did in the podcast until the episodes are released, and compare that to statements made by Drag Race queens. * After the episode ended, the queens hung around to continue to help try and raise money. They tried to get donations in order to put DM Matt in drag, which would happen the following year. * They also discussed how they all met, and various drag names they tried out before their current drag names. When asked about queens they would like to see join Queens of Adventure, Arson names Irene Dubois. The queens also state their love for Erika Klash and Fraya and Arson both used to watch make-up tutorials from Pollo del Mar from the San Francisco cast. * The live stream can be viewed online here: Category:Episodes Category:Bonus Episodes Category:Live Streams